Friday, June 13, 2014

Pangs of Seperation

Hmm I sit here so far and away from you, thousands of miles and four hrs ahead of you w.r.t GMT like someone said

"Solitude impregnates creativity, and creativity gives birth to solitude."

When I said I was thinking of you a learned friend here said "Love never makes a man perfect, only the creative man who is always roaming behind perfection, accepts feminine love as the final guarantee of his own perfection." so dont tell me that you are in love as love is not real but just an illusion

But I begged to differ, how can he understand the wails of a lover in separation and then I quoted from what I had read  "unless reality numbs your heart and mind, romanticism cannot arise; such a romanticism is my destination"  and due to this distance my love is only getting stronger.

As it used to happen in bangalore it happens here, that thoughts inevitably start somewhere and come to an end with you my love.

I hear your voice, see your smile, smell the perfume, feel your hair on my cheek, feel your tears still dampening my shoulders. The passion of your words rushes down on me like the jog falls, makes me gape for words, I feel the touch of your hand resting assuredly in mine. Then thinking of you suddenly my world becomes very small, very passionate, very romantic. I forget all other sorrows as this happiness engulfs me, removing any loneliness from this solitary existence! I always imagine you with me -- now here sitting at my desk, babbling and giggling about some nonsensical thing, always you are in the front. You would be looking down at me and me looking up at your face. I just want to rush to bangalore for only one reason, to see your eyes for one last time and to feel your smile for one last time. How I wish I could do that.
In these cold blazing winds out here, I miss you whenever a cold blaze just passes and sends a shiver up my spine.

                I am so lost in thinking of you that I stand on the wrong side i.e, to the right on the escalators, someone suddenly interrupts with sumimasen and then I realise oh and move to the left to make way for those who wish to go ahead. Every girl who sees me here nods her head in unision saying boy!! this guy seems so lost in love.
                Yesterday I saw some small japanese girls dressed in kimono the traditional japanese dress, I remembered how you had struggled when you wore a saree and a smile came on my face.Wearing a sari is an art and I smiled as I remembered you never mastered it.

Last mail you said, you observe so much of me, write to me about a lot of things which I never feel you knew about me, they say "Travel lends the observing soul, a passage into one's own feelings and thoughts." And at such a time, if there is some thing, as deeply rooted in each nerve and cell of one's body and mind as you are to me; then it is just not difficult to 'feel' and 'sense' what could be happening. What is it that you say between lines, that you just 'write arbitrarily'? 

Hmm I miss having mochachinos with you at coffeeday. I am sure once while reading this mail as of now your hands would be moving on your hair, you will remove the hair from the plait and then try to put the hair in order using your hands and then tie the plait around it. You look so beautiful when you do that. I am also sure you have a dash of bright color on your lips, eyeliner to accentuate your big eyes, an off white salwar kameez neatly tailored and shoes to match. Once you finish this letter you will call on a few close girl friends, meet up at the coffee day.
                You will start a wayward conversation to start of with and then talk about how hopelessly and madly I am in love with you. All your friends will nod. As always you can never sit still, your legs will be dancing to some music and you will say like an enlightened soul. Som is erratic right, I mean not erratic as in erratic but so loony in love with me. Every friend of yours will nod in affirmation.
                                You will come back happy than ever and try to write a reply to this mail. Suddenly it strikes you that yes all the while I wasnt around and a gush of tears offload from your beautiful eyes. I feel like kicking myself as I am not around to shoulder you then.

Dont worry now here we are living on hope that human beings can walk this journey of life together, and that the power of Love, as Erich Segal put it, is testimony to the fact that dreams need not die -- that faith, hope, and promise still live in this age of anxiety 

I want to sign off with a song from beatles, one of our favourites 
John lennon was a great writer you will agree with me now ;)

As he said
"We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it..." John Lennon


Love is real, real is love
Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is wanting to be loved
Love is touch,touch is love
Love is reaching,reaching love
Love is asking to be loved
Love is you,You and me
Love is knowing,We can be
Love is free,free is love
Love is living, living love
Love is needing to be loved


Now love is knowing we can be isnt it ??